


Your Rainbow is Showing

by monthadog (mysteriousMonarch)



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2014-11-12
Packaged: 2018-02-25 02:43:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2605655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysteriousMonarch/pseuds/monthadog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stan and Craig are forced to work on a project together and feelings happen.  Stan is an emo/goth and Craig is definitely NOT a homosexual.  Or so he says.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Brief Night Adventure

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really sure why I'm posting this on here... I'm kinda apathetic about it. Not my best work. Sounds like a 13 year old wrote it while cutting their wrists or something. People seemed to sorta like it on FF.net so maybe someone will like it here. *shrugs*

“Stan, I’m going to the store do you need anything?” I pause the pencil in my hand as I turn around in my desk chair to face my doorway.

“No I think I’m good,” I smile. My mom smiles back at me warmly.

“Do you need any more eye liner, sweetie?” I roll my eyes towards the ceiling and push my tongue piercing between my lips as I try to recall how much eye liner I actually   
have left.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve got enough for a little while,” I figure. I’m about to turn back around to my desk to resume my history homework when my mom asks another question.

“Are you going out tonight?” she tries to hide the concern in her voice but I can still detect it in her question. Glancing at the time displayed on my laptop I see that it’s a little after seven. Oh hell yeah I’ll be going out tonight! It’s a Friday night and all I have to do is finish copying this one vocabulary word and I’ll be done with all my homework; seems like the perfect opportunity to go the The Warehouse.

“Yeah I am. I’ve just got to finish my homework real quick,” I answer. My mother bites her lip and gives me a pleading look. 

“Please be careful, Stanley. I know you go to this place regularly but you are seventeen and I just worry about you. I’m just afraid someone will want to hurt you,” she fretted. I give my mom a reassuring look.

“I’ll be fine, Mom. There are a lot of other people that are just like me. Besides, people nowadays are a lot more accepting. I doubt anyone is going to try to beat me up. If they do, you know I’ll just kick their ass,” I wink. I may look scrawny but I can hold my own when it comes to fist fights.

“Alright, hun,” she sighs. “Just try not to stay out too late.”

“Okay Mom,” I agree. She leaves my doorway to head off to the grocery store and I return to copying my last vocabulary term. As soon as the last letter has been formed by my pencil I slam my book shut and toss the pencil onto the desk. Now to choose my outfit for this evening.

The Warehouse is exactly as the name implies; it’s an old warehouse that’s been converted into a rave type party scene. Every weekend the doors are open to anyone eighteen and up to just go and dance until the early hours of the next morning. I like to go every so often with my fake ID and just lose myself I the loud electronic dance music and bright glowing colors. The only time I ever wear any colors besides black and white is when I’m at home or going to The Warehouse. 

Ever since I stopped playing sports when I was twelve I’ve been dressing in predominately black in a very emo or Goth manner. My nails are always painted black, I wear black eye liner nearly every day, and I straighten my long jet black bangs so that they fall over my right eye. Once I started high school I became attracted to piercings and decided to get a few. My mom took me to get all of my piercings and to this day I am astounded by how supportive she has been through everything. I mean, what mom is completely okay with taking her son to get his tongue and septum pierced as well as an industrial piercing in one of his ears? My mom was. She even took me on my seventeenth birthday to get my tattoo. I had told her before that one day I’d like to get a gay pride tattoo but she surprised me by taking me for my birthday to have it done. The tattoo is seven stars of varying sizes going up my left side; each star is outlined in black but filled in with a different color of the rainbow.

I browse through my closet for a few moments before deciding on a tight black t- shirt which has a brightly colored Blood on the Dance floor logo on the front of it and a pair of tight black pants that have lime green straps hanging from them. Once I’ve changed clothes I check myself in the full length mirror hanging on my closet door. I should totally add some sparkly bright green eye shadow to my makeup. I wander down the hall to the bathroom I have all to myself now that Shelly’s in college. I flip the light on and dig through one of my drawers until I find the eye shadow I’m looking for and quickly brush a few swipes of color over my eyes. Perfect.

My mom buys all of my makeup for me. It’s like she treats me like the daughter she never had since she was never really close to Shelly. I don’t really mind though. I actually really enjoy the shopping trips we go on and getting mani/pedis with her. I run my fingers through my bangs over my eye to try to make them look neater and put on several neon colored bracelets. Well, time to get going. I return to my room to grab my car keys and wallet and turn the light off before shutting the door behind me. Once I reach the bottom of the stairs I see my dad on the couch in the living room watching at football game with a beer in his hand.

“See you later, dad!” I call over to him. He turns around to see where I’m standing with my hand on the door.

“Be careful driving at night, Stan,” he warns me.

“Got it,” I acknowledge as I swing the front door open and step outside into the chilly night air. The lights flash on my black Chevy Cobalt as I press the button to unlock the doors and once I’m buckled up inside and have the car running I crank the heat up in an attempt to relieve the chill that has settled in its interior. My thoughts wander as I drive through the town and just as I’m beginning to think about who might be attending tonight a small light on my instrument panel catches my eye. Quickly glancing at the tiny symbol to try to figure out what it is I suddenly realize what it is. It looks like a red battery. Oh shit! What the hell does this mean? Why is there a red battery light popping up? I know! I should call Kenny! He works at an auto parts store and knows a lot about cars! I reach for my phone and quickly go through the contacts list until I find Kenny’s number while I try to keep my eyes on the road. It rings a couple of times before Kenny picks up.

“Hey Stan! What’s up?” his voice greets me. 

“Kenny! I’m kinda freaking out right now,” my voice comes out a bit panicked.

“Jeez dude what’s wrong?” he sounds concerned.

“Um, I’m driving and this little battery light just came on,” I tell him while staring the light down as if it had a gun pointed at me. “What should I do? Is my car going to die?”

“Hmm, maybe,” he answers honestly which causes a yelp of fear to escape my throat. “You said you’re driving right now?” he asks. “Come by the store and I’ll run a few tests to see what’s going on. Your alternator could’ve gone out.”

“Okay,” I agree weakly. My what gave out? I let out a sigh. “So you’re at work right now?”

“Mmhmm,” he responds. I make a u-turn at the next light to begin heading to the store he works at when a thought occurs to me. I’m dressed in a rave outfit. I can’t let Kenny see me like this! He might suspect something and no one outside of my household know the truth about me. Well, my English and art teachers might know because I don’t hide anything about me in my essays or drawings.

“Actually, I really can’t go by the store,” I tell him hastily. “Do you think I could make it to my house?”

“Uh, you might. Don’t make any detours and don’t turn your car off until you get home because you might not be able to start it again,” he warns.

“Okay I won’t,” my house is getting closer and I’ve never wanted to just make it to my driveway so badly before in my life.

“I can come by on my next day off to take your alternator off and have it tested, alright?” he offers. I finally make it to the driveway and relax all of my tense muscles.

“Sounds good,” I tell him and exhale a huge sigh of relief.

“Alright, I’ve gotta get back to work. Good luck, dude.”

“Yeah thanks,” pressing the end button on my cell phone I lean back in my seat for awhile. Entering my house I find my dad exactly where I left him in the living room. He turns his head to see who is home as I make my way into the living room to have a seat next to him.

“That didn’t take very long,” he observed. I grunt before responding.

“I had to turn around and come back. Apparently my alternator may have gone bad?” I say uncertainly, not really knowing what I’m talking about. 

“Well that sucks,” he sips his beer and glances at the score on the TV before looking back at me with a bewildered look.

“You look, uh, pretty tonight,” he awkwardly tells me. I can’t help but chuckle at his strange attempt at complementing me. I don’t think my dad entirely understands what having a gay son entails. He seems to think that because I’m gay I want to be treated like a girl or something. Whenever he starts talking to me like I have a vagina I usually just laugh it off and try to change the subject to something that will remind him I do in fact have a dick.

“Thanks Dad but you don’t have to tell me I look pretty,” I say while smiling at the absurdity. He sips his beer again as he mutters a dejected “oh okay”.

“Isn’t that what you’re going for though?” he asks after a brief pause. What the hell is he talking about? “Like, you wanna look pretty or something so you can bring all the boys to the yard?” My eyes feel like they are about to pop out of head from the shock of his musings.

“Dad!” I exclaim defensively. “Jesus Christ!” My dad just gives me a clueless look which prompts me to sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. “I’m just trying to look attractive; I’m not really going for “pretty”,” I try to explain. He shrugs and turns back to his football game. I cross my arms in a huff and settle back into the couch irritably. “I’m manly as hell,” I mutter to myself and stare ahead blankly at the TV screen displaying a game between the Broncos and the Browns. This kind of awkward chat is exactly why I never really told my parents that I liked guys in the first place.

When I was ten I started noticing my increasing lack of interest in the female population of my school. I played football and baseball back then with most of the other boys at my school and I couldn’t help but be curious about looking at their bodies while we were in the locker room. By the time I was twelve I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to have a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. What would it be like to hold another boy’s hand? How would it feel to kiss a boy? I finally got enough courage to ask my best friend Kyle about it one day. I asked him if he had ever been curious about kissing another boy and he admitted his interest was slightly piqued. We kissed each other on the lips experimentally, but when he pulled back with a sour expression and faked gagging through a fit of laughter and I was left blushing and breathless I began to think I may have a problem.

“Well that was gross!” he had laughed. “Definitely not doing that again.”

“Wh- was I a bad kisser or something?” I didn’t understand that he thought it was gross because I was a boy and had automatically been worried my breath had smelled bad or that I did it wrong.

“I dunno,” he shrugged. “You’re a dude. It just doesn’t feel right, you know?” At the time I figured the best thing to do would be to simply emulate his reaction in order to appear as if nothing was wrong.

“Yeah, totally dude,” I scoffed. “Kissing guys sucks!” But it definitely didn’t suck. After that kiss I found myself more attracted to my best friend and had a bit of a crush on him for a few months. Eventually I realized that focusing my affections on him would just be a waste of energy because he would never like me back and I extinguished the small flame I held for him and resumed our normal friendship. It was when I came to terms with my sexuality that I made the decision to quit playing on the school sports teams. My dad was baffled by my sudden resignation and my mom was surprised too because I legitimately did enjoy playing football and baseball. I gave them an honest, albeit somewhat cryptic, answer when they asked for a reason as to why I quit the teams. All I would say was that I didn’t want to create any problems for myself. Once I had accepted that I was attracted to boys I became terrified of having to be around all the other guys in such close proximity. What if one of them found out and tried to beat me up? What if they publically humiliated my? What if I got a crush on one of my teammates and got a boner in the locker room?

I tried to hide myself at first. I tried to appear as normal straight Stan at school and at home. Pretending to be something I wasn’t all the time began really taking a toll on me emotionally. I began drawing when I was fourteen as a hobby to try to express how I was feeling inside and I discovered that I was really good at it. I started wearing darker colors in an attempt to blend into the shadows so that no one would notice me and I wouldn’t have to speak my lies to them. After some time I had drifted away from most of the student body at my school. My usual friends still hung out with me and we officially became the school’s weird group because we were all such misfits. Cartman was the fattest, rudest kid in school, Kyle was a diabetic ginger Jersey Jew, Kenny was poor white trash, and I was that creepy emo kid that hung around the art room all the time.

The day I decided not to censor myself in one of my art projects was the most liberating day of my life. I completely lost myself in this particular drawing and I felt like I had reached inside myself and splashed my soul onto the paper. My teacher held me back after class and gave me a bit of advice that I will never forget.

“This drawing you turned in is beyond words,” she whispered to me as he took my hand and smiled warmly. “You should be yourself more often because it’s absolutely beautiful,” she winked. I knew by the tone in her voice what she meant and I couldn’t stop the tears that came to my eyes.

“Thank you,” I whispered back. From that point on, I knew I could no longer live a completely double life and I chose to be myself while at home and when writing essays for English classes and working on projects for Art. Even though I am attracted to wearing primarily black, I still do enjoy bright rainbow colors as well so I started wearing rainbow colored bracelets at home. Not only are they pretty, they were secretly a message of my pride for my family to see. I would often indulge in dressing more effeminate whenever I didn’t have to go to school by wearing smaller, tighter shirts and pants that hugged my body in all the right ways. My parents were clearly getting confused so my mom began to test the waters a little bit. One day she came home with a few shopping bags and spotted me lounging on the couch in a pair of black and pink Goth pants and a tight fitting unicorn shirt.

“I got you something while I was out, Stanley,” she announced sweetly. I looked over at her curiously. She pulled out a black rainbow studded belt and handed it to me.

“Oh my God this is awesome! Thanks Mom!” I shouted excitedly and jumped up to give her a big hug. A few nights later the whole family was seated at the table for dinner. We were all eating in silence and lost in our own thoughts. It was my mom that broke the silence.

“So, sweetie, are there any cute boys that you’re interested in at school?” she asked innocently, not looking at anyone in particular. Shelly, assuming the question was meant for her, answered.

“No! All the boys at my school are immature turds!” she hollered. Our mother looked up at her with a gentle smile.

“Actually, I was asking your brother,” she clarified. Shelly and my dad froze their movements to stare back and forth between my mom and me. She had finally taken a guess and gone with it. I smirked to myself as I moved the food around on my plate.

“There are a couple but I know they would never be interested in me,” I looked at her directly and remained as casual as if we were discussing how tender the meat was. No one at the table made a big deal out of it. No one pointed at me and shouted, ‘So you are gay!’ Nobody questioned it; they just went back to eating a bit stiffly and decided to move on.

“Well that’s a shame,” my mom said as she smiled at me and continued eating.

I stayed on the couch with my dad watching the Broncos game for a little bit before deciding to retire for the evening.

“I’m going up to my room,” I announce while making my way to the stairs.

“’Night son,” I my dad waves his hand in the air without taking his eyes off the screen. 

“’Night,” I say as I begin ascending the stairs to my room.


	2. Conversation With Friends

I turn my lamp on and drop down onto my desk chair to log onto my laptop. It’s only about nine o’ clock so I decide to log onto my messenger account to see if my friends are online. I stopped inviting my friends over a couple of years ago because I knew if they came over I wouldn’t be able to explain the rainbow flag displayed on my ceiling or all the makeup that is obviously mine. Even my laptop background is my favorite yaoi couple, Sora and Roxas from Kingdom Hearts, in a rather risqué position.

My messenger contact list pops up in the middle of the screen and I see that Kyle and Cartman are online. Kenny must still be at work. I’d rather chat with Kyle so I click on his screen name and type out a greeting to him.

Rain/bow: Hey! OMG I nearly had a heart attack earlier!

Wndrflgreenhat: Aren’t you a bit young for heart attacks? JK. What happened?

Rain/bow: I was driving and all of a sudden this battery light came on so I called Kenny and he said something might be wrong with the alternator.

Wndrflgreenhat: So did you make it home ok?

Rain/bow: Yeah. He’s gonna look at it when he gets a chance

Wndrflgreenhat: Well that’s good. :) Oh gawd, Cartman is messaging me. Let me see what he wants. Brb.

Rain/bow: K

Wndrflgreenhat: Oh gawd he wants to group chat because he’s pissed off we aren’t including him 

Rain/bow: Great…

-Ihatejews has joined the conversation-

Ihatejews: sup fags? Thought you could just ignore the fact that I’m online too and go ahead and talk behind my back?

Wndrflgreenhat: *sigh* Cartman, your screen name is highly offensive. I’ve told you to change it.

Rain/bow: Besides, all we were talking about was my car trouble... Don’t get your panties in a bunch

Ihatejews: Kahl- if I do change my screen name it will be to ‘KyleIsABitch’. Stan- WTF? You have the gayest screen name ever, don’t be talking about me having panties when you   
are clearly the one with lacy thongs.

Wndrflgreenhat: Stan, your screen name is a bit questionable…

Rain/bow: Pfft! Whatever my screen name is totally brutal. It’s like I’m cutting a rainbow in half and making it drip multi colored blood everywhere

Ihatejews: Whatever fag.

Wndrflgreenhat: I must say, that is a very gory image I would have never thought of o.O

I toy with my tongue piercing again as I stare at the screen digesting my close call. My messenger name really is gay. The rainbow part is because I like rainbows and it’s a pride thing while the slash in the middle of the word is because of my slight obsession with slash pairings. Thankfully I was able to come up with a good fake explanation for the name. As I push the top ball of my tongue ring between my lips I remember that I had been thinking about switching it out for a different color. I quickly type out a ‘brb’ and head to my bathroom once again. I keep all of my clean barbells and balls in a plastic baggie and I put the ones that I remove from my tongue in a separate bag to be cleaned whenever I get around to it. Unscrewing the small pink ball, I carefully remove the matching pink bar from my tongue. I paw through the baggie for a moment before deciding on a plain silver metal barbell and ball combination. After I have my tongue ring securely in place I inspect my handiwork in the mirror. While I’m at it I’ll switch out my septum ring too. I gently remove the small silver ring and replace it with a metallic blue one. I think I’ll leave the black metal industrial bar in my ear as is along with the small black half rings in my ear lobes.

Returning to my room I notice that Kenny has now joined the conversation on the messenger and they’ve all been discussing their plans for the winter break that is coming up after next week.

Rain/bow: I’m back

Ihatejews: About damn time! Did you go take a massive shit or something?

Rain/bow: lol! No I went to go change out some of my piercings

Wndrflgreenhat: That was pretty random

I<3Boobs: Hey Stan! You made it home in one piece!

Ihatejews: You have an ass ton of piercings, Stan. How many do you actually have?

Rain/bow: Hey Kenny! The only ones I have are the ones you guys can see. I only have 5

Wndrflgreenhat: 5? I thought it was 4… 3 in the ears and one in your nose

Rain/bow: I have one in my tongue

Wndrflgreenhat: Ooh yeah! Ick! I don’t see how you can stand that.

I<3Boobs: I’ve been thinking about getting my eye brow pierced.

Rain/bow: Do it! XD

Ihatejews: I’m too manly to have anything on me that called “body jewelry”

I<3Boobs: Puh-leez! Do you know how much pain Stan had to endure to get those things? Stan’s manly as hell!

Rain/bow: THANK YOU! I *just* said that to my dad earlier. Not in the same context but still…

Ihatejews: He still wears eye makeup though. Ass pirate!

I<3Boobs: You make it sound like he’s making himself up like some pageant bitch. It’s just eyeliner. Totally unisex.

Wndrflgreenhat: So! Stan what are you doing over winter break?

I<3Boobs: Haha! Nice one, Kyle!

Ihatejews: …

Rain/bow: I dunno. Hanging around my house and sleeping in? I’m guessing I can’t drive anywhere until Kenny looks at my car.

I<3Boobs: Oh yeah! I’m off on Sunday so I’ll come over then and we’ll take a look at it

Rain/bow: That’ll work.

Wndrflgreenhat: *sigh* I have to go guys. My family wants me to watch a movie with them.

Ihatejews: Whatever

Rain/bow: Bye! See you on Monday

I<3Boobs: Peace!

-Wndrflgreenhat has logged off-

I<3Boobs: Well I think I’m going to spend some quality time watching porn before I start on my homework

Rain/bow: o.O TMI dude

Ihatejews: I don’t want an update on whenever you get off you poor piece of shit!

I<3Boobs: Aww! Why not? Hehe later guys!

Rain/bow: See ya!

-I<3Boobs has logged off-

Rain/bow: I need to go too. I’ve been putting off an art project.

Ihatejews: Fine, whatever. I don’t need to talk to you dildos anymore anyways.

Rain/bow: Later!


	3. Monday

There are two things I love about being in my English class. The first thing is that I’m actually really good at this subject and have a 100 in the class. The second thing is that my seat in the back corner of the classroom is the perfect place to discreetly stare at the boy I have secretly had the hugest crush on since the beginning of the school year. Usually after I finish my assignments I will observe him and try to sketch him in one of my notebooks. My drawings never do him justice. When I first realized I was beginning to have feelings for him I tried to get over it like I had with Kyle but I just couldn’t stop. Now senior year is half way over and I’m still ridiculously attracted to him even though I know he will never return my feelings. The boy I am drawn to like a moth to a flame is of course Craig Tucker.

How can I begin to explain the notorious Craig Tucker? He is known for two things: being one of the most attractive sought after boys in the school and accidentally dating his cousin. If this was Mean Girls Craig and his friends would be like The Plastics. It’s not that they are bitchy and gossipy, it’s just that they all seem so handsome and perfect it wouldn’t be too strange to hear a testimonial, much like in the movie, of some guy saying, ‘One time Craig Tucker punched me in the face. It was awesome!’ The whole clique consists of Token Black (the suave rich gentleman), Clyde Donovan (athletic playboy), Tweek Tweak (trendy hipster that makes having mental illnesses look cool), and Craig himself (aloof, well-dressed embodiment of the word sexy). Craig has flawless pale skin that sharply contrasts his jet black hair that is always styled in a bed head I-don’t-give-a-fuck kind of way. His eyes are the most beautiful light shade of grey that seem to have the ability to stare right into your soul. It seems like he dresses business casual all the time but I’m sure that when he’s at home he probably wears something more relaxed. He’s had a few girlfriends over the years and definitely comes off as very straight. The one thing he goofed up on that everyone knows about but that no one talks about is when he dated Red.

South Park is a small town and depending on how long your family has lived here it is entirely possible to be related to a few people by marriage and whatnot. Craig and Red had been dating for a few months and had been very public about their exploits. Apparently, at some point in time Craig finally noticed something in Red’s living room that he had always walked right past on his way to her room. It was a family photo that had Craig’s parents in it. When he pointed the picture out to Red she was just as clueless as he was so she had asked her mom about why the Tuckers were in the photo. As it turns out, Red’s mother’s maiden name is Tucker and she is Thomas Tucker’s sister, making her Craig’s aunt. Needless to say, Craig and Red broke up that day but the damage had already been done because when Cartman somehow found out what happened he made sure the whole school knew the real reason for the couple’s demise.

Just as I finish sketching Craig in his slumped over pose the bell rings signaling the end of class. I gather my things and make my way to the art room for my last period. Today has turned out to be a dark rainy day and it’s just making me feel depressed and sleepy. My art teacher addresses the class briefly to let us know that today is just a free day since she needs to catch up on some paper work. I watch the water run down the window outside for a few minutes before finally deciding to just draw something and then color it in with colored pencils. As soon as I begin drawing I completely loose myself in my concentration. It doesn’t even seem like time is moving anymore but once I’ve completed my drawing I look up to find the classroom empty. How long have I been drawing? I look at the clock and see that class ended five minutes ago. My teacher is still seated at her desk grading papers but I am the only student remaining. 

“Why didn’t you tell me class was over?” I ask, still stunned. She glances up at me from her paperwork.

“You were just working so hard I didn’t want to disrupt your creative process,” she smiles. I quickly shove all the colored pencils back in their boxes and put them up before packing up my book bag. I’ve definitely missed the bus by now so I’ll have to call my mom.

“Do you mind if I see what you did?” my teacher inquires sweetly. I bring the piece of paper over to her for her to take a look. I had spent all period transforming the ordinary piece of computer paper into an abstract interpretation of my unrequited love. “This one is about him isn’t it?” she asks. After viewing so many of my art projects she has been able to gather that I’m in love with a boy with piercing grey eyes but that he doesn’t love me back or even know that I exist. Craig doesn’t have art so she’s never met him before, thank God. It would be so awkward if he did have her class and she ended up teaching the very boy that has made an appearance in so many of my projects.

“Yeah it is,” I admit sadly.

“Maybe he’ll come around one day,” she tells me optimistically.

“I’m not the right gender for him to be attracted to me,” I glance back out the window to see that it’s still pouring down.

“’Love does not care to define and is never in a hurry to do so’,” she quotes with a smile. I smile back at her, feeling a bit warm and fuzzy that she supports me so much.

“Thanks,” I tell her genuinely. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Take care,” she waves. I wander out into the hallway already dialing my mom’s number as I walk towards the nearest exit.

“Mom, I need you to come pick me up. I missed the bus,” I explain once she answers her phone. It really sucks not being able to drive myself anywhere. Kenny tested my alternator and it turned out to be bad so I’m just waiting for him to get some free time to replace it for me. 

“I’m sorry, sweetie, but I’m at work right now. I got called in today,” my mom tells me. 

“What about Dad?” I begin panicking. 

“Your father is at work now too,” she sighs. 

“What the hell am I going to do? It’s pouring down raining! I’m not walking home in that,” I nearly shout. Thank God the hallways are pretty much deserted by this time of day so I can avoid making a huge scene with my outburst. I take a deep breath and pinch the bridge of my nose as I hear my mother’s voice on the other end of the phone attempting to placate me.

“I really wish I could come pick you up, Stanley,” she replies sympathetically. “Maybe one of your friends can give you a ride?” she suggests.

“All my friends are already gone,” I breathe out hopelessly. “I’ll figure something out,” I mutter into the phone.

“I love you, honey. I’ll make this up to you. Maybe we can go get our nails done Saturday,” she offers. I can’t hold back my small smile.

“Love you too, Mom. That sounds good.” I tuck my phone back into my pocket and remain still staring out the door that leads to outside. It’s really coming down out there. I need to start keeping a spare umbrella in my locker. I brace myself for the cold water to make contact with my skin as I begin pushing the door open.

“Marsh!” a voice calls to me from a few feet away. I jump and let go of the door as I quickly turn to see who is standing near me. Holy hell. Craig Tucker is standing a few short feet away from me looking sexy as hell in his black Chinos and grey button up shirt. He had the sleeves of the shirt rolled up to his elbows and left the top three buttons undone. “Need a ride?” he asks casually. Oh jeez, I’m staring at him and I can’t think of answer to his question. Did he ask a question? Did his lips even move? I hope he didn’t overhear my miniature bitch fit on the phone a few minutes ago. God, he’s so perfect. He’s looking at me like he’s expecting something. How long have I been staring at him? Why is he talking to me, he never talks to me! Agh! Just say something!

“Wh- what did you say?” I stammer out. Yeah, real attractive Stan.

“I couldn’t help over hearing your conversation a few minutes ago so I’m offering you a ride,” he quirks an eyebrow at me in amusement. Shit, he did hear my bitch fit. I sneak a glance back outside to see that it is indeed still dark and dumping water from the sky.

“Yeah that’d be great,” I accept quietly. Oh my God! I’m going to be inside Craig Tucker’s car sitting right next to him as he drives me home. Does he have any idea how hot he is? He walks over to the door I am standing in front of and gestures to the plain black umbrella in his hand.

“Wanna share my umbrella? You seemed pretty upset about the prospect of getting wet,” he comments. I can feel my face get hot and can only nod my head in response as we exit the school and he opens the umbrella while we are still covered by an awning. We walk close together in order to remain covered by his umbrella and I can’t help myself from inhaling his scent a few times. We finally reach his car, a dark blue Izuzu Rodeo, and he walks with me around to the passenger side so I can stay covered until I’m safely inside the vehicle before he goes around to get in the driver’s seat. He reaches behind him to put the wet umbrella on the floor in the back. 

“Do Goths melt if they get wet or something?” he asks as he starts the car and puts it in gear. I feel myself blushing and I play with my bangs over my eye for a moment.

“No, it’s just cold and uncomfortable,” I defend myself weakly. He smirks as he pulls out of the school parking lot. 

“Still live in the same place as in elementary school?” he inquires.

“Yep,” I begin playing with my tongue ring out of nervousness. The two of us remain silent and I am trying to wrack my brain for something to say when my ears finally pick up on the soft music playing through the speakers. “This is what kind of music you listen to?” I ask in shock.

“Yeah, why?” he lightly laughs. Why does it surprise me so much?

“I dunno, it’s just not what I expected I guess,” I shrug. “Then again I’m not sure what I expected in the first place,” I add. “Who is this?”

“Stephen Wilson,” he says while braking for a red light. “I’m also fond of electro swing.”

“Electro swing is pretty cool,” I agree. “I really like a lot of EDM stuff.”

“What? No metal from the guy that wears all black?” he feigns surprise. I giggle at his antics.

“Well, I like Dethklok. That’s metal,” I say and stick my tongue out at him. He glances in my direction to give me a ‘look’ before returning his eyes to the road.

“You have a tongue ring,” he states sounding intrigued.

“Yeah I’ve had it for awhile. Where have you been?” I ask playfully.

“Well you never talk to anyone except your friends so I wouldn’t know what you’ve got in your mouth,” he says flatly. It’s true; I really don’t talk to many people other than Kenny, Kyle, and Cartman. I’m usually just trying to blend in with the background and not get noticed. Craig pulls into my driveway and parks behind my inert car. “So have you always taken the bus? Don’t you have your license?” he questions.

“I usually drive myself,” I point to the Chevy Cobalt in front of us, “That’s my car but over the weekend it broke down so now I’m waiting on Kenny to fix it for me whenever he gets a chance,” I explain. Craig mouths an ‘oh’ then taps his fingers on the steering wheel for a moment.

“Wanna borrow my umbrella to get to your door or will you be okay?” he asks almost sarcastically. I roll my black lined eyes at him and give his shoulder a playful shove.

“I’m pretty sure I can just make a run for it,” I retort. I hope he doesn’t pick up on how flirty that just came across as. “Thanks for the ride,” I try to let more of my bangs fall in front of my face to cover how red I’m sure it is while I grab my things.

“No problem. See you tomorrow I guess,” he makes a saluting gesture with his hand to indicate ‘later’. I push the car door open and run to my front door in an attempt at avoiding getting too drenched. I can’t believe Craig Tucker just drove me home!


	4. Friday

I’m sitting in my usual seat in English class drawing Craig as a vampire while I wait for the teacher to finish lecturing. Only one more class to go then we are free for an entire week for winter break. 

“I’m going to group everyone with a partner to work on this project,” I hear my teacher tell the class and I decide to put my pencil down to pay attention. “This project will be due the Monday you all come back from winter break so I expect you to work on it over the holiday.” A chorus of groans echoes through the room. What kind of asinine idea is this? Why would she want us to do this project entirely outside of school over a break? “Stan Marsh,” I look up when I hear my name called. I guess I get to find out who I’m paired with. “You will be working with Craig Tucker.” Seriously, oh my God! I’m going to get to spend time with Craig outside of school? Once the teacher finishes putting everyone in their groups she gives us some time to chat with our partners about the project. I look at Craig and notice that it doesn’t seem like he’s planning on moving so it looks like I’m going to have to leave the safety of the back of the classroom to venture towards the center where he is comfortable seated. I make sure none of my notebooks are left open. Standing up and quietly walking towards the empty desk next to my partner. The chains on my pants make loud clanking noises as I slide into the seat with him watching me.

“Hey,” I breathe out, still in disbelief that we are on speaking terms now.

“Hey,” he responds while turning his body in my direction in order to get down to business. “I want to go ahead and get this project out of the way so if we could start on it today then that would be great,” he informs me.

“Sounds good,” I nod my head in agreement. “So… should I just come over to your house after school-?”

“No,” he cuts me off. “I don’t have people over. Just ask Clyde, Tweek, and Token. No, we will work at your house,” he tells me with finality. I stare at him for a second as I take this in.

“Well I don’t have people over either!” I exclaim. My house is the only place I can really be myself so I’ve avoided inviting my friends over for that reason; if they took one look at my room my secret would be out.

“We aren’t working at my house,” he reinstates.

“Why don’t you have people over?” I wonder curiously.

“My parents are assholes. They are very nit-picky and judge every person that sets foot in that house. They are brutally honest in a snobbish sort of way. I love them and all, but damn, I got tired of hearing them tear down all of my friends so I stopped bringing them over,” he explains.

“Oh,” I mumble, almost sorry that I asked. “Well, I guess we could just work in the living room,” I think aloud. Craig nods an affirmative.

“I could give you a ride home today. That way we could just work on it every day until it’s done,” he strategizes.

“I’m going to have to work some days but I’ll let you know when I get off and we can work then,” I tell him. The bell rings to signal the end of class.

“That’ll work,” Craig agrees. “Meet me at the same place as last time after next period then we’ll head to your place.”

“Okay,” I respond while standing to go get my things off my desk to take to my next class. I can’t believe how much interaction I’ve been having with him. I feel so excited; I’m definitely going to end up using a lot of colors in art today.

After the final bell of the day I stand near the glass door he found me at earlier in the week. I feel a little bit nervous about bringing him to my house but my parents know not to say anything incriminating around people unless I specifically tell them its okay to. I’m only waiting a few minutes before he strolls up to me one strapping his back pack. He doesn’t even actually acknowledge me before he pushes the door open and heads outside towards his car. I guess he just figures I’ll follow him anyways so I hurry to catch up to him. Once we are both buckled into his Rodeo and he has begun our journey to my house I attempt to break the silence.

“So what are your plans for winter break?” I end up asking a bit timidly. 

“Nothing,” he states blandly. “I’ll be hanging out with my friends at some point in time during the week.” 

“Oh,” I reply. “I thought you had some big plans or something since you wanted to get this project done so soon,” I admit.

“I just don’t want to have to waste the whole break on this thing,” he shrugs. “I’d rather get it out of the way early so I can just bullshit the rest of the week.” I nod in understanding as Craig pulls into my driveway. I’m not really sure when the last time I had one of my friends over was but I just really hope my dad doesn’t screw up and stay something he’s not supposed to. As soon as I lead Craig into my house I see my dad stationed on the living room couch with the TV on.

“Hey Dad, I need to work on a project for school do you mind giving us the living room?” I ask politely.

“No can do, son. I’ve got the guys coming over to watch the game. They should start arriving soon,” he informs me while eyeing Craig. I feel the blood drain from my face. Where are we going to work? He can’t see my room!

“Dad!” I whine slightly, “where are we supposed to work?”

“Why don’t you just do the project in your room?” he suggests.

“No!” I shout quickly. Craig gives me an odd look and I scramble to find a legit reason as to why we can’t just go to my room. “Um, my room is super, super messy, remember Dad? There’s no way we would have room in there,” I lie. The doorbell rings and my dad rolls his eyes at me.

“I dunno Stan, maybe just work in the kitchen, gosh!” he responds exasperatedly as he goes to answer the door. I quickly glance back at Craig, who looks extremely bored   
and motion for him to follow me. I lead us into the kitchen where my mom is busily working on cooking.

“Mom, I need to work on a project for school and Dad is using the living room so we’re just going to work in here,” I announce to her. She pulls a tray out of the oven and sets it on the stove before turning to speak to me.

“That’s fine, Stanley just make sure you don’t get in the way. I’ve got to make snacks for your father’s little get together and in half an hour the women are coming over for a gathering in here.” She looks worn out, like she’s been cooking for awhile. I feel slightly guilty for not helping her but I’ve got a project to work on with a very attractive guy. 

“We’ll just sit here I guess,” I motion to the corner of the kitchen table and Craig takes a seat. “Should I go get my laptop?” I ask as he begins pulling things out of his book bag.

“Yeah probably,” he answers.

“I’ll be right back,” I inform him before quickly going to retrieve my laptop. I return to the kitchen a few moments later to find him going over the project syllabus. I set the computer on the table and open it up. Oh shit! I forgot that my background is questionable. Quickly I open up an internet browser hoping Craig didn’t notice the two anime guys getting intimate with each other. I shoot a glance over in his direction to see that he is still absorbed in reading the syllabus. I think I’m safe.

We work on the project until Lianne Cartman and Sheila Broflovski show up and begin busying themselves around the kitchen with my mom. Apparently while the men watch football in the living room, the women will be in the kitchen having coffee and gossiping.

“Well I think I’m going to head out before my own mother shows up,” Craig says as he begins packing up his stuff.

“Okay,” I’m a little disappointed to have him go. It’s so great being able to drool over him in my own home. “I’m working tomorrow so I’ll just let you know when I’m ready and stuff,” I tell him.

“Want me to just pick you up from work?” he offers. I feel my face get hot and I hope he can’t tell that I’m blushing. I notice that my mom is now sneaking sideways glances at us.

“S-sure,” I stammer. “Um, just pick me up in front of the mall at two.” He nods in confirmation.

“Later,” he says as he goes out the back kitchen door to exit the house instead of the front door. My mom waits until Sheila and Lianne are caught up in their conversation before approaching me. 

“So… who was that?” she asks intrigued. I give her a shy smile as my face turns another shade of red again.

“He’s my partner for my English project,” I tell her innocently.

“Is he the one that’s been giving you rides home?” she asks. I nod a ‘yes’. “Well that’s awful nice of him,” she smiles playfully.

“He is really cute but he’s straight, Mom,” I inform her.

“Well that’s a shame,” she sighs. I can’t help but giggle at her antics.

“Sharon! Linda and Carol are here!” Sheila announces to my mother.

“Are you going to hang out in here with the ladies?” my mom asks sweetly.

“Nah, I think I’ll go watch the game in the other room,” I tell her before snagging a slice of cake. “I will take a piece of this fabulous coffee cake that you so graciously made.” I love flattering my mom, especially in front of her friends because it makes her feel good. She just laughs and rolls her eyes at my cheesiness. As I leave the kitchen I over hear one of the women speaking to my mom.

“He looks like he’d be a hooligan wearing all that black but he’s such a nice young man. He seems to really get along well with you.” I smirk at the compliment and go to find a seat to watch the game with the men.


	5. Weekend

I walk out of the mall after work and see Craig’s blue Rodeo parked not too far away. The other dark haired male watches me as I comfortably buckle myself into his passenger seat. I’ve been in his car enough times now that I feel pretty comfortable in it. Craig gives me a scrutinizing look. 

“Why do you smell so fruity?” he questions. I let out a short laugh.

“That’s a nice greeting, Craig,” I joke with him. “Really though, um, I work at Bath and Body Works,” I explain shyly.

“Hm,” he replies while driving out of the parking lot. “I thought for sure you would be working at Spencer’s or Hot Topic,” he teases. Once we get to a red light he turns to take in my appearance. “I never thought I would see you in khakis and a white shirt,” he comments. I squirm in my seat. 

“I don’t really want anyone to see me like this,” I mutter embarrassed.

“At least you still have the nail polish and eye liner,” he comforted. Luckily they let me have those at work. “Something still seems a bit off though,” he points out at another light. He stares at me for a moment before returning his eyes to the road. “Your nose ring is missing,” he states after a few beats of silence.

“Oh,” I stare at him for a second to appreciate how gorgeous he looks when he’s concentrating.

“No it’s still there,” I reach up to my nose and flip the silver ring downward. “I have to hide it for work so I just flip it upward so it can’t be seen.” I blush as he seems to give me another lingering gaze.

“It looks good on you,” he states. “Like, you pull it off well.” I let out a nervous laugh and he slightly furrows his brows as though he is as shocked that he said that as I am.

“Thanks,” I smile at him. “You pull off wearing dress clothes all the time,” I answer back hoping once again that it isn’t obvious that I’m flirting with him. I’m just glad I was able to censor myself from adding, ‘they make you look really hot.’ We arrive at my house with a bit of awkwardness in the atmosphere around us. At least this time we can work in the living room instead of the kitchen. “Go ahead and get everything out and I’ll be right back,” I tell him once we step inside my house. “I’m going to go get changed and grab my laptop.” Craig nods and makes his way over to the couch while I go upstairs.

Once I get into my room I quickly grab a pair of pants and a shirt not really caring much about what I am picking out. As I change my clothes I realize I’ve picked a pair of black skinny pants and a black tight fitting The Birthday Massacre shirt. Taking my computer off my desk I hurry back downstairs so that I don’t keep Craig waiting too long.

“I see you have returned to your usual color scheme,” Craig notices as I re enter the living room. I let out an amused laugh.

“Yep, back in my comfort zone,” I admit while taking a seat next to him and placing the laptop on the coffee table.

“Why is that?” he asks while looking directly at me.

“Why is what?” Why is he looking at me so intensely? 

“Why is black your comfort color? You seemed like a regular jock in elementary school then you just… I dunno, changed,” he explains. What can I say to that? I find myself toying with my tongue ring out of anxiety as I carefully think over what to say. I notice Craig is giving me a sort of amused look. Immediately I stop playing with my piercing and blush. 

“Um,” I laugh nervously, “I guess I just became attracted to darker things. I didn’t like being in the spot light anymore so I just stared trying to blend in and not get noticed.” I didn’t want to get picked on for being the gay kid. I sigh and open my laptop. “Let’s get started,” I change the subject. I definitely don’t want to get emotional in front of Craig. I know he’s straight and everything but I still can’t help but feel like I want to impress him.

~*Sunday*~

I’m leaning against my garage as I watch Kenny installing the new alternator in my car. Finally I’ll be able to drive myself around whenever I want instead of relying on my parents all the time. I will miss getting rides from Craig though. “So what have you been doing on your break so far?” I ask Kenny curiously. 

“Uh,” he pauses to try to wipe his brow with his upper arm to avoid getting black marks on his face. “Pretty much just working; I might be getting laid tonight though,” he winks. I laugh at him.

“Good for you, dude,” I say while still tittering. 

“What about you?” he asks as he resumes his work.

“I’ve been working, hanging out at the house, and working on my English project,” I say and suddenly I feel my cell phone vibrate in my pocket.

“Oh yeah, I heard your teacher assigned her classes a project for over the break. That’s dildos, man,” he states from under the hood as I take my cell phone out to check it.

“Yeah, my project partner is Craig Tucker,” I add as I look at my glowing phone screen. Speaking of which, I have a new text from Craig.

“Craig Tucker? Really? How’s that working out?” he sounds surprised.

“Pretty good,” I say casually as I read over the text. He wants me to meet him at Harbucks in an hour to work on the project. I still can’t get over the fact that the object of my affections now texts me and meets me at public places. True, it’s just for a project, but still it’s better than nothing. I type out a response saying that will be fine and return to watching my mechanically inclined friend. A few moments later I get a text back asking if I’m going to need a ride to the coffee shop. I reply that I think my car will be fixed by then but to be on standby.

“Who are ya textin’?” Kenny asks teasingly as he glances up at me.

“Craig,” I tell him while trying to not smile. “He wants to meet up at Harbucks in a bit to work on the project.”

“Ah, well I’ll be done in just a bit,” my blonde friend announces. Maybe I will have Craig pick me up; I’ll just tell him that Kenny still has to do something else to my car and it won’t actually be done until tomorrow. I send Craig a text telling him that he will need to pick me up after all.

A little over an hour later Craig and I are sitting in Harbucks working on the assignment and sipping on coffee. Tweek Tweak is at the counter taking orders wearing his big dark rimmed glasses and a black and white checkered wristband with his uniform. “I think we’re about halfway done,” I observe while sipping my caramel frozen coffee.

“We’re making good progress,” Craig agrees and drinks from his cup of black coffee. My gaze lingers on him for a moment as I admire how handsome he looks in his black dress pants, white button up shirt, and loose black tie.

“So, why do you always dress so nice? Why is that your comfort zone?” I inquire as I try to eat some of the whipped cream in my coffee off of my straw. Craig’s intense grey eyes lock with mine for a moment before he suddenly looks away and he clears his throat. Why does it seem like he gets really awkward around me sometimes?

“I suppose I just disagree with following the fads that come and go. One moment everyone in the fashion industry is telling you that pink is the next hottest thing on men then the next thing you know everyone just has to wear their pants down to their knees. I feel that the way I dress is publicly appropriate and it is timeless. It doesn’t violate any dress codes, it doesn’t push the limits, and it looks impressive,” he explains thoughtfully. I nod in understanding.

“Do you ever dress more relaxed though?” I ask.

“I do wear jeans and t-shirts, yeah,” he confirms. “I dress this way most of the time but I do dress like a normal eighteen year old sometimes.” We hold each other’s gazes for a moment until he diverts his eyes to the papers in front of us and clears his throat. “We should probably get back to this,” he suggests.


	6. Monday Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story wasn't originally broken up into chapters... that's why the chapters are so wonky.

Craig and I have our papers scattered across the coffee table as we sit on the couch in my living room and I am caught in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. He has been telling me the story of how when we were freshman Clyde and Token dared him to walk around Tweek’s house naked while the blonde was out of the room. Tweek’s parents had been out of town and they were all sleeping over to keep their friend company. Craig accepted the dare and stripped down to his birthday suit walking around the house until he found Tweek.

“So I just stood in the doorway while he made his coffee and waited for him to turn around,” he continues explaining with a cute grin on his face. “He finally turned around and he screamed so loud I thought the glass was going to shatter. I just played it off really serious like I wasn’t standing there totally naked and I was like, ‘Watcha doin’? Making some coffee?’” Craig paused to chuckle a bit at the memory. “Of course Clyde and Token were watching the whole thing from the living room laughing their heads off as Tweek kept screaming at me yelling ‘indecent!’” I wipe the tears from my eyes as I finally begin settling down from my laughter. Craig watches me with an unrecognizable look for a minute before he finally speaks again. “I’ve never told anyone that story before,” he admits in amazement.

“Why not?” I laugh. “That was hilarious!” He looks almost shy as he grins again.

“It’s almost embarrassing on my part because I got all naked and was walking around like that,” he confesses.

“Well don’t by embarrassed,” I push him lightly on his leg. He laughs a bit and gives me another look before looking away. He stares at the papers on the table and begins to look a bit conflicted. “What’s wrong?” I ask quietly. He looks back at me and studies my face for a bit before giving a forced smile.

“Nothing,” he states. “I should get going.” Craig begins gathering the papers into a stack. It’s a bit disconcerting the way he’s acting but maybe he just has something going on with him. It really seems like we’ve been getting closer ever since we started working together. Sometimes it sort of seems like he might be flirting back with me but I’m sure that’s just my wishful thinking.

“I’m working tomorrow so-,” I begin telling him.

“I don’t think we should work on this tomorrow,” he interjects. My stomach drops.

“Why? What’s wrong?” I ask worriedly.

“Nothing,” he tells me as he slings his book bag over his shoulder. “Maybe we should just take a day off from working on this. You could go hang out with your friends; you said you haven’t really talked to them since the break started,” he explains. It’s weird that Craig is now in the loop with things that go on in my life because just two weeks ago I didn’t think he knew I existed.

“Yeah, okay,” I agree quietly. I hope I haven’t done anything wrong to upset him. He looks at me almost apologetically before heading out the door.


	7. Wednesday

I tried texting Craig yesterday to make sure he was okay but he completely ignored me. It just really seemed like we were starting to open up to each other and then suddenly he freaked out on me. I’m sitting at my desk IMing Kyle and waiting to see if Craig will text me today.

Wndrflgreenhat: This break has completely sucked so far! Ugh!

Rain/bow: How come? o.O

Wndrflgreenhat: My mom and dad decided to go on vacation for the week for a “romantic getaway” so I’ve been stuck babysitting Ike since Saturday.

Rain/bow: That does suck :( I’ve pretty much been mostly working on this English project with Craig.

Wndrflgreenhat: I still can’t believe you’ve been hanging out with Mr. Popular!

Rain/bow: Well we aren’t just palling around! We have to do paper work and make a PowerPoint and shit

Wndrflgreenhat: Yeah but still… he’s part of the elite 4

Rain/bow: What is this Pokémon? 

Wndrflgreenhat: lol! No but him and his friends are like the most popular guys in school.

My phone suddenly vibrates on my desk and I quickly grab it to see what it is. Finally, Craig decided to text me! I open the text and read: 

Sorry about yesterday. Mind if I come over?- Craig. 

I quickly text back telling him that he can come over while butterflies consume my stomach. Oh, God, I have to get ready for him! I turn back to my conversation with Kyle on my computer screen.

Rain/bow: Srry! Have to go! Craig’s coming over!

Wndrflgreenhat: Have fun!

I rush around my room trying to make it look presentable, not that it was incredibly messy to begin with. I decided yesterday that I really like the way Craig and I have been so comfortable with each other so I am planning on telling him about me being gay. I’m super nervous and I can’t believe I’m going to do this but I feel like it’s just something I should do.

In no time at all I hear the doorbell ring and I hurry downstairs to answer it. I open the door to reveal a somewhat frazzled looking Craig wearing a pair of worn jeans and long sleeves grey shirt. “Wow,” I gasp before I can stop myself. He smirks and steps passed me into my living room.

“I thought you’d like that,” he says tiredly and sets his book bag on the couch.

“Yeah, you look great dressed down like that,” I tell him still stunned. I’ve never seen him in jeans before. “Um, actually I was thinking we could work in my room today,” I tell him awkwardly. 

“Oh?” he seems surprised. “Did you finally clean it?” he laughs. I laugh a little too. 

“Well, actually I don’t ever have anyone in my room. I just figured I would show you the real me because you don’t know the real me,” I tell him quietly. I can’t stop looking at the floor. 

“What are you secretly a woman?” he mutters almost bitterly. I look at him sharply.

“No!” I declare. “I am a dude. I have a dick,” I defend irritably. I’m really just tired of having my masculinity being questioned.

“Believe me, I’m aware of this,” he grumbles. I am really confused by his pessimism but I guess it has to do with yesterday.

“Well anyways, I’ll show you my room now.” I lead him up the stairs towards my room and I pause when my hand touches the door knob. I give him one more look before opening the door and notice his conflicted expression. Letting out the breath I didn’t know I was holding I push open my bedroom door and lead the way inside. I figure the best way to do this is to just approach it like I did with my parents; I’m not going to say anything about it and just let him figure it out on his own.

Craig enters my room cautiously and I can tell that he is taking in his surroundings. His studying eyes roam over dark grey walls lingering on the collage of photos I have arranged near my desk. On my actual desk my laptop is charging with the screen proudly displaying Sora and Roxas fondling each other. Craig tilts his head upward slightly to see the large rainbow flag that is affixed to the ceiling over my bed. “Well that’s a relief,” he finally states flatly. I look at him with confusion written on my face. “The way you were making it sound I thought you were a serial killer and you were hiding the bodies in your room, but you’re just gay,” he explains. I remain silent for a moment to allow time for everything to set in.

Finally, I look over at him and say quietly, “You thought I was a serial killer?” Craig lets out a sudden laugh and anxiously runs a hand through his tousled hair.

“Wow,” he says in disbelief as he wanders over to one of my walls to observe the artwork displayed there. He says nothing as he looks over my drawings and I suddenly feel my heart drop into my stomach when I realize that some of those pieces are of him. Oh God, what is he going to say? I sit down on my computer chair and brace myself for his reaction. “You like me don’t you?” he asks calmly as he turns around to face me. I’m sure the fear is written all over my face as I hesitantly nod my head in an affirmative. Craig laughs again and looks entirely shaken as he looks over me critically for a few moments and finally reaffirms, “And you’re a guy.”

I stare at him quizzically before daring to ask, “Are you mad at me? Do you still want to be my project partner? I mean, I guess I’d understand if you don’t’ want to be friends or anything.”

“No, I’m not mad,” he tells me. “I just- I just need to go. We’ll finish the project tomorrow,” he sounds almost robotic but proceeds to leave my room. A minute or two later I hear the front door open and close. I can’t stop the tears that run down my face and I wonder if I just ruined my friendship with Craig Tucker, my secret love.


	8. Thursday

“Well I guess that’s it. We’re done,” I announce after I’ve put the finishing touches on our PowerPoint presentation. Craig and I have been awkwardly working together in my room for the past hour discussing nothing that doesn’t pertain to the current novel we are reading in class.

“Good, now I’ll have one less thing to worry about,” Craig says in a bored way. I don’t blame him; the last hour was rather uneventful.

“So I guess you’re free to go home now if you want. I’ll see you at school on Monday,” it’s hard to hide the disappointment in my voice. Craig sits up straighter on my bed and gives me a meaningful look.

“Stan, I need to apologize for the way I’ve been acting lately,” he states quietly. “I’m sure I hurt your feelings yesterday and that’s not what I wanted to do.” He sighs heavily and looks down at his lap. “I’ve just been angry with myself because I’ve been really confused,” he begins picking at a loose string on his jeans. 

“What were you confused about?” I find myself asking out loud. He flashes his scared grey eyes at me before looking back down at his pants. He inhales sharply.

“Ugh, shit!” he breathes shakily. It seems like he isn’t used to not being calm and collected. “As I’ve gotten to know you and hang out with you, for some reason I have become attracted to you,” he admits. “I don’t understand why I can’t view you as just another guy to be friends with. I don’t understand why I like you!” He seems to be getting increasingly frustrated. “I’m not gay. I’ve never been attracted to men, but then there’s you and for some reason my mind won’t accept the fact that you have a dick so therefore I shouldn’t be with you.” He looks at me with his conflicted gaze. “Then I find out that you’re gay which just adds justification to me being attracted to you because then it means that even though what I’m feeling is fucked up I could possibly have you.” I stay frozen in place at my desk. How is this possibly happening? Craig isn’t even gay but he somehow likes me? It’s not like he’s even pulling a prank on me either, the look on his face is clearly a legitimate form of anguish. “Please say something,” he whispers to me and I realize I’ve been staring at him speechless for a good while. I make my way over to the bed and sit down tentatively next to him. 

“So what do you want to do about how you are feeling?” I ask softly. He reaches out to touch my hand gingerly, as if testing the waters, before fully covering my hand with his own.

“I don’t know,” he answers. “If I date you then that will make me gay, but I don’t want that label because I know it’s not true.”

“Then don’t consider yourself gay,” I encourage. 

“Tell me then, Stan, what would it make me if I am a guy and have a boyfriend?” he asks sharply.

“You said you aren’t attracted to any other men right?” I ask.

“Yeah I’m not,” he agrees.

“And you’ve never been attracted to men before?” I ask again.

“No, I’ve never liked any guys, I will never like guys, and I’m not typically fond of penises,” he answers in frustration. I smile brightly at him.

“Then you must be Stansexual,” I reason.

“What?” he deadpans.

“I’m the only guy you are attracted to and after me you’ll go back to girls so you’re Stansexual,” I explain cleverly.

“You are so weird,” he says with a small smirk on his lips.

“I’m assuming that’s why you like me,” I shrug. He rolls his eyes. He somewhat shyly sneaks a glance back over at me and looks hesitant again.

“Can I- can I kiss you?” he asks quietly. “I’ve never kissed a dude before and I just want o make sure I know what I’m getting into.” I blush lightly as I nod my consent. He slowly begins leaning towards me and I lean forward to meet him halfway. Our lips connect and I instantly feel my body get tingly. We move our lips together slowly and I can feel his shaky breath on my skin. Craig pulls away and I open my eyes to look into his calm grey ones. “That wasn’t so bad,” he exhales and smiles slightly. I return his smile.

“So does that mean you want to be with me?” I ask breathlessly.

“Yeah, why not, I’ll give it a try. I don’t want anyone to know about this though,” he responds.

“Wow, I can’t believe you actually want to be with me! You have no idea… of course no one will know. No one even knows I’m gay except my parents and my sister,” I clarify.

“Your friends don’t know?” he asks shocked. I shake my head.

“Nope. I will tell my parents that we’re together but they’re good about keeping things on the down low,” I assure him.

“Good,” he exhales swinging his legs off the bed. “I’ve got to head back home now but I’m picking you up tomorrow at five,” he tells me as he gathers his belongings.

“What’s happening tomorrow?” I ask. Craig looks at me with a wonderful smirk on his kissable lips. 

“If you’re gonna be in a relationship with me you’re gonna have to get used to being around my friends. Tomorrow is our monthly Friend Pick Karaoke night and you are coming with me,” he explains deviously. I feel my heart drop.

“I’m going to be hanging out with Clyde, Token, and Tweek by myself?” I whisper fearfully. Craig looks slightly confused. 

“You won’t be by yourself,” he disagrees. “I’ll be there,” he takes my hand in his.

“Yeah but it’s just so weird still. You and your friends have always been like this flawless untouchable group of people that I would have never imagined being a part of,” I mutter. It sounds so ridiculous when I say it out loud like that. Craig scoffs.

“We aren’t any different than you and your friends,” he assures me. Once his shoes are back on he gives me a kiss on the cheek. “See you tomorrow at five,” he reminds me and leaves my room.


	9. Friday Again

It feels like my body is about to shut down due to anxiety overload as Craig pulls into Token’s driveway. 

“Looks like everyone’s already here,” he notices when he sees Clyde’s car and Tweek’s green bicycle parked near the side of the house. I can tell he’s watching me so I turn my head towards him and offer a small smile. “Don’t be so scared. I’ll be with you the whole time.” I take a deep breath and pull my black fish net gloves higher up my arms.

“Alright, let’s do this,” I announce. Craig and I exit the car and reach the front door. My gorgeous boyfriend raises his hand but instead of hearing knocks I see the door swing open. “You just walk into his house without knocking?” I nearly shout in surprise. 

“Yeah, why not?” he shrugs and motions for me to enter. We find the three other guys in Token’s massive bedroom seated in bean bag chairs around a large array of snacks. “Hey douchbags,” is Craig’s greeting when we enter the room.

“You’re such an asshole Craig,” Token immediately responds but turns around with a smile on his face nonetheless. He’s dressed like he could be a model for some expensive European line of clothing. Clyde looks at us with a mouthful of food and nods his head in acknowledgement of our presence. The jock’s letterman has been discarded to the floor beside him and he is carefully trying not to drop food on his red polo or faded blue jeans. When Tweek spots me his already large green eyes widen even more behind the thick black frames of his glasses. He shrieks and trips over his black converse as he scrambles to hide behind his bean bag chair. 

“You didn’t mention anything about bringing a stranger!” he shouted shakily. “What if he wants to experiment on me? Ahh!” The large grey knitted beanie he is wearing nearly slides off his head when he starts pulling at his wild blonde hair.

“It is rather unusual to bring a guest to Friend Pick Karaoke night,” Token observes while casting a glance toward Craig.

“Would you guys chill out?” Craig commands with a hint of irritation. I’m sure he can tell how uncomfortable I’m feeling with all eyes with us. “You guys know Stan; he goes to school with us. We’ve been working on a project together all week and he’s a pretty cool guy so I brought him to meet you dick heads,” he calmly explains. Craig wanders over to the one empty chair and motions for me to follow. I’m about to take a seat on the floor when he touches my arm to stop me and motions for me to take the chair. I sink down onto the bright red bean bag uneasily as he makes himself comfortable on the floor next to me. 

“Alright, let’s get down to business!” Clyde demands with excitement. Tweek watches me skeptically from behind his bean bag and Token grabs a velvet pouch from the floor next to him. The affluent boy reaches into the pouch and pulls out a piece of paper. He glances at the paper to see what is written on it.

“Looks like the first to sing will be Craig,” Token smirks. “And…,” he reaches into the pouch again and pulls out a second piece of paper. “I will be picking his song,” he announces. Craig gets up from the floor and goes to stand next to the TV where the karaoke is set up. Token thinks for a moment before smiling deviously and setting the song to be played. I watch Craig in amusement as he flawlessly sings along to the lyrics of “The Bad Touch” by The Bloodhound Gang. I can’t help but blush when he looks me straight in the eyes and sings, “I want you smothered, want you covered like my Waffle House hash browns.” Once the song is over he sits back down on the floor beside me.

“You did really good,” I smile at him, impressed with how good his voice was.

“Thanks,” he responds with a small smile. Token looks over at me.

“Stan, how about you go next?” he suggests. 

“Me?” I ask in shock. “N-no! No! I’m fine,” I really don’t want to get up in front of everyone.

“C’mon, Stan, it’s fun,” Craig urges. I can’t deny those beautiful eyes.

“Alright, fine,” I give in. Token reaches into the pouch again and pulls out another paper.

“Clyde will pick your song,” the dark skinned boy states. Clyde gives a wicked smirk before looking over his song choices. I hear a familiar song start playing and the jock gives me a smug look. 

“Don’t worry, Stan, I picked a nice emo song for you,” he says condescendingly. He’s trying to sabotage me! I clutch the microphone and keep a poker face while studying the faces of the other occupants of the room. Craig has his jaw firmly set out of irritation with the way his friend seems to be picking on me. Even Token is eying Clyde with suspicion and Tweek is glancing around anxiously. I smirk arrogantly at Clyde. Challenge accepted. What he doesn’t know is how familiar I actually am with this song and as the sound of the guitar fills the room I can’t help but taunt him a bit.

“Thanks Clyde. I’m actually really good at singing this song.” I almost laugh when I see the snarky look on his face diminish and a short moment later I grip the microphone with one hand and bring it near my mouth as I double over and on cue scream out, “Let’s go!” I stand up straight and as I rap my fingers lightly on the side of the microphone to keep in time with my next cue I take pleasure in the fact that Clyde’s jaw has slightly dropped and Token is also staring at me in disbelief. Tweek has crawled out from behind his bean bag but as I begin singing the next verse of “Tears Don’t Fall” by Bullet for My Valentine I keep my eyes on Craig. The normally impassive boy looks clearly impressed and appears to be giving me a look that means to say ‘I knew you would show him.’ 

Once my song was over Craig began clapping for me and was quickly followed by Tweek and Token joining in. I sit back down on my bean bag and Clyde turns to give me a sheepish look. “Hey, I’m sorry about that, man. You wanna pick my song to make it even?” he asks sincerely. A grin breaks out across my face.

“Sure,” I agree. Clyde goes to stand near the karaoke machine and takes the microphone as I choose a song for him to sing. Time for payback. I get the song ready and am grinning like a mad man when I sit back down next to Craig.

“What did you do?” he asks while giving me an accusing look but there is no time to answer. 

“Aw, you ass!” the chubby jock shouts playfully and I giggle to myself.

“What-?” Craig attempts to ask again but is cut off as Clyde starts singing.

“I wanna see your peacock- cock- cock-, your peacock- cock,” the football player is giving the lyrics on the screen a death glare as he works his way through the song. Token busts out laughing and even Tweek titters a few times.

“Oh this is too good,” Craig smirks and fist bumps me. “Nice one.” I smile back at him proudly and wish that I could kiss him right now. He seems to be thinking the same thing because I notice him glancing at my lips. When Clyde finishes his song he trudges back to his bean bag chair and slumps down into it while grabbing a bag of chips.

“Alright, you got me. Now we’re even,” he tells me. I nod my head.

“Even,” I agree. Clyde turns his attention to Tweek who’s taken to sipping some coffee from a shiny silver thermos. 

“Tweek, you should sing one of your cool songs,” the brunette suggests through a mouthful of chips. Token joins in with the request. 

“Yeah, Tweek!” the dark skinned boy chimes. “It’s always so cool to hear you do one of those.” The blonde boy appears frightened but eventually goes to set a song for himself and stands front and center waiting on the music to start. The words that come up on the screen indicate that he is singing a song called “One of a Kind” by G Dragon. When Tweek starts more or less rapping in another language I look at Craig curiously.

“It’s Korean,” my boyfriend explains. “Tweek’s grandma on his mom’s side is Korean and he’s actually fluent in the language.” Well, that’s a shocker. Who would’ve known? Tweek performs the song perfectly and we all applaud for him when he goes to sit back down a bit red in the face from embarrassment.

“Craig! You pick Token’s song!” Clyde shouts in excitement. The raven haired boy wordlessly goes over to the karaoke machine and selects “Poison” by Bell Biv Dovoe for his friend to sing. I feel like the style of the song really suits Token’s personality. I actually have ended up having a really good time hanging out with Craig and his friends tonight. I look over at Craig next to me and give him a smile to let him know this. He is casually sitting with his arms resting on his knees while holding a half empty can of root beer loosely in one hand. He sees my smile and looks at the floor as a large pleased spreads itself across his face. The well dressed boy finishes off his soda before standing from the floor to stretch.

“So what do you guys think of Stan?” he asks while rubbing his lower back. “Can we keep him?” Clyde chuckles at the joke.

“Well I think he’s okay in my book,” Clyde announces with a grin. Token nods.

“Yeah, you’re pretty cool Stan. You’re always so quiet I never really got to know you at school, but I don’t really mind if Craig brings you around,” the wealthy boy addresses me directly.

“Thanks,” I grin back at him. All eyes are now on Tweek. The paranoid blonde notices this and his eye begins twitching.

“Gah! This is so much pressure!” he shrieks and tightly grasps his thermos. “Um, you didn’t try to dissect me which is a good sign. I guess I am okay with this, but I’m watching you!” Tweek decides. I guess that’s a good response from him.

“Great!” Craig claps his hands together. “Well, I need to take him back home now since it’s getting late. See you guys Monday.”

“Bye you guys,” I wave to them all as they bid their farewells. 

“See? That wasn’t so bad,” Craig tells me once we are back in his car.

“Yeah, they actually liked me,” I sigh. I can’t believe I’m actually in with the most popular guys in school. Craig just squeezes my hand and drives me home.


	10. Three Months Later

My dad is stationed in his chair, beer in hand, watching a football game while I am lying against Craig watching as well while he runs his fingers through my hair. I know that he doesn’t really give a shit about the game but he is willing to sit through it with me if it’s a game I really want to see, which is basically any Broncos game. When it gets to a commercial I tilt my head upward in an attempt to look at him.

“We are graduating in a few weeks,” I tell him seriously. 

“Why yes we are, Stanley,” he answers back sarcastically but still gives me a sweet smile.

“I’ve been thinking about coming out to my friends,” I state calmly. His fingers pause in my hair as he gives me a concerned look.

“Really? Are you sure?” he asks. I nod the best I can with my head resting on his chest.

“Since we’ll be graduating and everyone will be going off to college anyways I was thinking I might just go ahead and come out to everyone. I won’t have to hide myself anymore,” I explain.

“You think you’re ready for that, Stan?” my dad asks from his chair.

“Yeah I think I am. I can’t just hide my whole life. I’m comfortable with who I am and I’m ready to let that show. So, from now on no more hiding! I’m gay and that’s that!” I declare with pride.

“Stan I’ve been supporting you being gay since you were fourteen and I’m ready to support you taking the next big step whenever you do,” my dad tells me. I almost feel my eyes water up but I blink them back.

“Thanks Dad,” I tell him appreciatively. 

“So what are you thinking of doing for college?” Craig asks me nervously. We’ve always put off discussing life after high school; I think it’s because we’re afraid to find out if we are going to have to be separated by having complete opposite plans.

“I want to go to an art school to pursue my drawing,” I say as I snuggle into his chest breathing in his scent. I can feel him exhale greatly.

“Are you serious?” he asks in disbelief. Oh no. Please don’t tell me he thinks it’s stupid and that he’s planning on going off somewhere else to get a “real” degree. “I wanted to go to an art school too, for film,” he says quietly. I lift myself off of him and turn around to see his face.

“We can totally go to the same college!” I point out excitedly. “We don’t have to leave each other!” I can tell he is relieved too and he leans in to capture my lips in a passionate kiss.

“If you two are going to make out go to your room, I’m trying to watch a game here!” my dad protests. I giggle into Craig’s mouth and slide off the couch leading him upstairs to my room.

“Hey Craig?” I begin awkwardly.

“Yeah, babe?” he responds while making himself comfy on my bed.

“Do you think that maybe I could tell my friends about us being together when I tell them I’m gay?” I ask quietly. He stares at me for a moment as he carefully considers his response. “I mean they are my best friends and I’m pretty sure that at least Kyle will be going to college out of state so it’s not like they will be around to really say anything about it,” I explain in an attempt to persuade him. “Of course I will explicitly tell them that you aren’t gay and explain it as thoroughly as possible.” I watch him as I attempt to gauge his reaction. His jaw is set tight and he looks like he’s in deep concentration.

“Fine,” he finally relents. I sit down next to him on the bed and embrace him.

“Are you sure it’s okay? I don’t want you to be mad,” I question.

“No, I’m fine. Go ahead and tell them,” he presses. I kiss him on the cheek and then bounce over to my computer to open up the messenger program

-Rain/bow has logged in-

-Wndrflgreenhat has joined the conversation-

-Ihatejews has joined the conversation-

Rain/bow: Where’s Kenny? I want to tell you guys something.

Wndrflgreenhat: I think he went to the bathroom a minute ago

Ihatejews: He’s probably in there jacking off

Wndrflgreenhat: >.


	11. Trouble At The Bar

~*Craig’s POV*~

I silently trail behind my father as he makes his way to an empty table in the crowded bar. I’m not old enough to legally drink yet but my dad likes bringing me to the bar with him sometimes to bond with me over a few beers. I’m not especially fond of the frothy beverage and I usually feel slightly uncomfortable being the only eighteen year old sitting in a bar full of my classmates’ fathers sipping form a mug of golden alcohol. My dad hasn’t brought me with him in a long time due to conflicting schedules but on this particular Friday night we were both free so he decided to seize the opportunity and call it a boy’s night. I feel especially awkward now because on the way to the table we pass by my boyfriend’s dad, Randy Marsh. Randy and I make eye contact briefly and give each other a discreet nod before I take my seat across from my own father. 

Both of Stan’s parents know that I am dating their son and are used to seeing me around their house several days a week. In fact, the only reason I’m not doing anything with Stan tonight is because he and his mom are having a “girl’s night out”. Stan is really close to his mom. I suppose that explains why Randy has come to the bar tonight. I actually get along really well with Randy Marsh. There have been times when I’ve spent the night at the Marsh household and Stan would fall asleep long before I would even be tired yet so I would go out back to smoke and Randy would come outside to join me. Of course what he smokes isn’t exactly legal in most states. We’ve had some meaningful conversations and it is because of this that he knows I am planning on telling my own dad that I’m in a relationship with another guy. I’m planning on telling him tonight.

“What are you so quiet for, boy?” my dad’s voice pierces my thoughts. I’m pretty nervous about how to exactly bring up the whole ‘I’m dating a guy but I’m not gay’ thing.

“Oh, I don’t know, sorry,” I attempt to make myself sound collected. I notice Stan’s uncle amble over to Randy at the counter and prop himself up next to his family member. It’s hard to miss the slightly inebriated redneck’s loud words.

“Hey Randy, what the hell is the deal with my nephew nowadays? He don’t play sports anymore and he’s wearin’ makeup. What’d ya do to ‘em?” Jimbo nearly shouts. A few of the other men have not so discreetly begun to listen in to the conversation. Randy seems to keep his composure steady.

“Well, Jimbo, he quit playing sports a long time ago. He just decided to go after other hobbies. He still watches football with me,” Randy explains.

“Why’s he wearin’ makeup though?” Jimbo implores. This is where Gerald Broflovski decides to pipe in.

“You know, Randy, Stan has been dressing a bit questionable for awhile now. And all those piercings! Aren’t you concerned?” Gerald asks. I take in a sharp breath to keep calm. My boyfriend has just become the subject of a group discussion at the bar. 

“Stan is doing fine. He’s a good kid, he gets good grades and he doesn’t give me any trouble. He can dress however he wants to dress, I’m not a Nazi with him,” Stan’s dad defends. I hate that everyone is ganging up on him and I especially hate that they are sitting here shit talking Stan. I soon find that my fists are clenched tightly. Just when I think it can’t get any worse, it does.

“If you keep letting him dress like that he might turn out to be queer,” my own father comments. Randy slams his mug down on the counter and angrily glares at my dad.

“God damn it!” the dark haired man shouts. “You can’t turn gay from dressing a certain way it’s something you’re born with!” He shoots a deadly look at my dad and then says, “And my son is gay but he could still probably kick your son’s ass in a fight! No offense, Craig,” he adds. I put my hand in the air to motion ‘non-taken’. Stan probably could kick my ass. He used to play contact sports and still plays in pickup games on occasion. I’ve seen him punch out Cartman before. I’ve never played any sports or attempted too much of any sort of physical activity in my lifetime. The bar experienced a shocked silence at the revelation that Stan is in fact gay.

“I don’t think I want your son anywhere near my son’s ass,” my dad scoffs, causing the blood to rush to my face.

“Pssh, believe me your son’s ass wouldn’t be in any danger with my son around if you “catch” my meaning,” Randy unnecessarily elaborates. Jesus Christ why is my sex life being publicly discussed in front of all the men in town? I mean, they don’t know how true the things he is saying are but still.

“So you’re saying that my nephew lets other guys fuck him up the ass and you are completely okay with this,” Jimbo demands with a disgusted look on his face.

“Look, Stan isn’t a whore. He doesn’t just let guys- do that stuff to him,” Randy replies uncomfortably. “He has a nice boyfriend that he really cares about and treats him right. I think of his boyfriend as a second son.” The elder Marsh makes eye contact with me for a moment and gives me a crooked grin. I look down and smile back to try to be as subtle as possible. 

“C’mon Craig let’s go,” my dad abruptly stands and begins making his way to the exit. I follow slowly, still highly embarrassed. Randy catches my arm as I walk by.

“You still gonna tell him tonight?” he asks with concern. I nod an affirmative. “Good luck. I’m here if you need anything,” he offers. I smile slightly at his kind words.

“Thanks,” I tell him.


	12. Graduation Day

Stan’s POV

As Craig and I get dressed for our high school graduation ceremony I can’t keep the giant grin off my face.

“You sure are in a good mood,” he observes. 

“I’m just so happy that we’re going to the same college next year,” I tell him while freshening up my layer of eye liner. Craig straightens his tie and gives me a serious look.

“You know, I was going to wait until after the ceremony to give you the present your parents got us,” he explains. I look at him in anticipation.

“What is it?” I ask excitedly. Craig reaches into his pocket and pulls out two silver keys. I feel my face form a look of confusion. 

“I think we should live together when we go off to college and these are the keys to our new apartment courtesy of your parents,” he tells me calmly. Sudden tears of extreme happiness spring to my eyes and I rush toward him crushing our lips together. 

“I love you,” I whisper. He wraps his arms around my waist and presses his lips to mine again.

“I love you too,” he whispers against my mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh... separating this into chapters was a bad idea. *facepalm*


End file.
